5.5 MANNERS WITH PARENTSObserve complete respect and reverence to your father and mother, for they are the most worthy of your consideration. Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported that a man asked the Prophet (PBUH): Oh Messenger of Allah, who is the most worthy of my best conduct?’ He answered: ‘Your mother! Your mother! Your mother! Then your father, then the next, and the next.’Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Abdul Razzaq in his Musanaf (the wording is his) reported that Hisham bin ‘Urwa recounted that his father told him that Abu Hurairah (RA) saw a man walking ahead of another. He asked him: ‘How is this man related to you?’ ‘He is my Father,’ the man answered. Abu Hurairah told him: ‘Do not walk ahead of him, do not sit until he sits, and do not call him by his name.’According to Ibn Wahab, a student of Imam Malik bin Anas named Imam ‘Abdul Rahman bin Al-Qasim Al-‘Utaqi Al-Masri (132-191 AH), said: ‘While Imam Malik was reading Al-Muwata^ to me he suddenly stood up for a long while, then he sat again. He was asked why,and he answered: ‘My mother came down asking me something. Since she was standing I stood up respectfully, when she went, I sat back down.’The revered follower Tawoos bin Kisan said: ‘It is part of the Sunnah torespect four persons: a scholar, an elder, a leader, and a father. It is considered rude that a man call his father by his name.’ At the end of his book of Malkite Fiqh Al-Kafi, Imam Bin ‘Abdul Al-Barr said:‘Kindness to the parents is an obligatory, duty and by the grace of Allah it is an easy matter. Kindness means to be humble with them, to speak to them nicely, to look at them with love and respect, to speak in a mild tone that does not surpass theirs unless they are hard of hearing, to give them complete access to your own wealth, and to offer them the best of your food and drink.Children should not walk ahead of their parents, nor speak ahead of them in matters that they know are their father’s. Children should wholeheartedly avoid upsetting their parents and should seek their pleasure as much as possible. Making your parent’s life enjoyable is one of the most virtuous acts.Children must hasten to respond to their parents’ call. If a child is praying voluntarily, he/she should shorten the prayer and respond promptly. Children should express only good words.In return, it is the parents’ duty to make it easier for their children to be kind to them by being kind and generous to their children, but without Allah’s help people cannot become obedient, nor can they perform his commands.’You may encounter various difficulties while serving your motherand father, but do not forget that theirrights are multiples of these difficulties. For this Aallah said in theQur’an ‘Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in the life, say not a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindnesslower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord bestow mercy on them as they cherished me in childhood.” The Prophet (PBUH) said,‘No child will compensate a parent unless he finds him or her a slave and he frees them.’Keep in mind that everyone likes to bethe best in status, prestige and popularity, and hates to see someonebetter than himself or herself. Only your parents would wish that you become better than what they are. How should you treat those who prefer you to themselves and wish you better.
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