Social Manners with the Elderly part 4

Al-Hasan Al-Basri who met him and studied at his hand said that when Qais bin Asem was dying, he called his thirty-three children, and advisedthem as follows:‘Oh my sons, fear Allah and remember what I will say, for no one will give you more sincere advice. When I die, make your seniors your leaders. Do not make your juniors your leaders for if you promote your seniors you will maintain your father’s memory. Do not make your juniors your leaders for if you do so people will not only disrespect your seniors, but will look down at you. Do not wail on my death for I heard the Prophet forbidding wailing. Look after your wealth for it enlightens the generous and obviates the need to bemean. Do not beg people for that is the worst of wealth. Avoid bad traits which may please you once, but displease you many times.”Qais then called for his quiver, and asked his eldest son, Ali, to take out an arrow. He then asked him to breakit which he did. He then asked him to break two arrows and this he did. He then asked his son to bundle thirty arrows with a tie and break them all, but his son could not. He said, ‘My sons, you will be strong if united and weak if separated.’ Then he composed the following poem:Glory is what the truthful father built and which was maintained by the children.Glory, bravery and leniency are best adorned with chastity and generosityThirty you are, my sons, in face of calamities and troubleYou are like thirty arrows bundled in a strong tieIt will not be broken, but once separated will be easily brokenYour elders, your best mannered, should be your leadersYour young should be protected and nurtured until your youngest matures.from the book ISLAMIC MANNERSBy Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah (RA)