Tuffam: Taubah

Tuffam: Taubah: Al-Agharr ibn Yasar al-Muzani said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace,said,“O people! Turn in repentance ...

The Necessary FOCUS Of A True Leader

Why is it, so many people seek, are elected, selected, and/ or ascend to, positions of leadership, but, very few, actually, end up, becoming relevant, quality, effective, meaningful, true leaders? Does it seem to you, few of these individuals, seem to take office. prepared, ready, and with a meaningful, relevant plan, rather than merely embracing the supposed, perceived glory and power of holding some office, and/ or their personal/ political agenda, and self - interest? Wouldn't it make sense, for every new leader, to take a period, from the onset, to fully examine needs, goals, etc, and create, a well - considered, action plan, which offered viable solutions, and direction, to make the organization better, etc? Don't we deserve leaders, who proceed, with the FOCUS to serve stakeholders and the organization's best interests, and are willing to expand the limitations of their self - imposed, comfort zone, rather than proceeding, with the same - old, same - old, irrelevant ideas? With that in mind, this article will attempt to briefly review, consider, discuss, and explore, using the mnemonic approach, why doing so, is meaningful, and significant.

1. Faithful; future; fruition: When one seeks a clearer focus, he must make certain, his priority, is based on faithful service and representation, rather than any personal/ political agenda, and/ or, self - interest! Only when one constantly, consistently, looks to the future, and determines needs, goals, priorities, relevance, and sustainability, will his plans, be worthy of bringing to fruition!

2. Options; open - mind; organized; opportunities: True leaders consider various options and alternatives, with a genuine, focused, open - mind. He must do so, in an organized, efficient manner, so he recognizes opportunities, and seizes any, which will make the most difference, for the better!

3. Character; clarity; cooperation; create: One's focus and priorities, generally indicate his true character, and we need leaders with the quality of character, to proceed, with keen clarity, and seek to create, the best, he can possibly do! To do so, the individual must focus on cooperation, rather than polarization, and unifying, rather than creating adversaries!

4. Useful; usable; urgent; urge: Unless one prioritizes useful suggestions and actions, he won't focus, as he must! Great leadership requires usable ideas, and actions, and differentiating urgent issues, from the petty stuff! Will you be ready, willing and able, to articulate a message, which urges others, to join you in your quest?

5. Suggestions; stakeholders; service; sustainable: Are your suggestions, viable, as opposed to empty rhetoric and promises? Will your stakeholders, both actually, as well as perceive, and believe in the quality and direction of your service? Unless/ until, the emphasis is on relevance, as well as well - considered, sustainable solutions, you won't become a quality, meaningful leader!

Do you have the necessary FOCUS, a true leader needs? Are you up to the task?

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.netand Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

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How Much Are You Able to Give?

Too many a time we feel immobilized by our own chain of negative thoughts. But instead of focusing on what is not going right or how you can get something, have you ever considered the notion of simply giving? For more insights, read on.

Give somebody a call and tell her how much you miss her. Volunteer in your community and raise somebody's spirits. Help somebody reach home with grocery bags. Send a free book to your subscribers. Contribute books to free eBooks websites online. Contribute old clothes, furniture and kitchen utensils to charity. Make somebody laugh. Compliment somebody on how s/he looks.

These are some of the ways you can give. Not only you make the other person happy but you also become happy and satisfied, giving off happy vibes. The Universe acknowledges them and you are rewarded with the stuff you crave for.

Therefore, the more you give, the more you receive. Teach this simple strategy to everyone you come across including your family. In receiving, naturally you experience joy and happiness. So the next time, you awake from bed in the morning, think of how you can give that very day in accordance with your capacity - no matter how small or how big.

Giving actually implies helping others or meeting their demands. For instance, your little daughter wants to ride on the swings at the local park. You are reluctant at first but finally you give in to your daughter's constant demands. While she rides safely on the swings, you see a colleague pass by. You call out to him and you start to chitchat. In the conversation that follows with him, he reveals an important job opportunity which rouses your curiosity and enthusiasm. You take your daughter home and apply for the job. Within two weeks, you attend the interview and are selected. Isn't that cool? In giving entertainment to your daughter, you get the opportunity to land on your dream job. This is a good example of how in giving others some joy, the Universe rewards you further, giving you moments of jubilance.

Summing up, yes, always think of giving others more than what you want for yourself. In the process you will end up receiving more of what you desire. That's how life really works. So remember this simple tip. It will work especially when you are bogged down with low spirits and it will raise your spirits higher than ever, making you skyrocket up the ladder of success.

Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories, amazing self-help eBooks, commendable articles, quality scholar papers, valuable blogs and terrific academic guides, all authored by her, and much more, visit: http://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did.

If you would rather like to access her terrific collection of eBooks based only on fiction, self-help as well as academic guides and download them for free, visit: http://www.facebook.com/RosinaSKhan.hub. You won't be disappointed and remember to like her Facebook page.

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The Wall Of Frustration For One Person Is The Perseverance Factor For Another

Scientifically, perseverance is everything. Talent is a reality, but it does not count as much as perseverance or persistence. Bluntly, I say, responsibility is power, especially for yourself. In this game of life, we can try to cheat, but in the end we only cheat ourselves because we know fully what we did that we seemed to escape from. The ultimate wall of frustration is not to have that perseverance that does not recognize failure genuinely.

The rich and powerful get more rich and powerful, because losing is not genuinely accepted in the mind and cheating is not an option either. Mistakes, and weakness are simply training for perfection and strength.

The ultimate check and balance is honest persistence and real perseverance, if we do not have those two things we cannot achieve anything in life genuinely. The genuine wall of frustration then is to want ease and luck to be the law instead of what really is the law, work and persistence.

Oh, yes, cheating looks fun until you catch yourself genuinely and unrealistically even in the most "unbeatable" cheating situation. Sure, you can "get away with everything in the eyes of others", but what about yourself, that is the difference that counts, you cannot beat yourself ultimately.

If you want to genuinely climb to the mountain top, you cannot use the helicopter or chair life, it will never be the same as genuinely climbing. Reality has to be genuinely and persistently lived, and talents must be developed to genuinely get anywhere. I remember when my Dad told me about patience, understanding and tolerance being an adjunct to discipline, thought then control. Sure, I instantly understood, but, you must develop from within without wanting any part of the "way of the lucky masses" that has an outside to inside approach to life that is too pragmatic instead of genuinely creative and original from within. In fact I call patience, understanding, tolerance, discipline, thought, then control "The Big Six". Without those big six genuine factors, everything in life comes down to nothing, and without persistence and perseverance, everything is really nothing but gambling. I know, that is harsh seeming, but at least it has the benefit of being the honest and realistic truth about it all.

Life and existence are knit with what we are, not what we want to be anyway, however we try to look at it all.

My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.

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How Does Infertility Affect You?

You never think that you will be the one to be an infertility statistic. This only happens to other people, not to you. But what happens when it does happen to you? How do you handle it?

Infertility can be a tough pill to swallow, metaphorically. Finding out that it is you that is unable to have children can have a deeply emotional effect on you. Although, it affects different people in different ways, you don't have to be ashamed about it. There are many people going through the same thing you are going through. Think about it... if it was not that common how can there be fertility clinics that specialise in infertility. If there is a clinic and a doctor that is dedicated to infertility full time then there must be many people that have this issue. Therefore, you are not alone.

That being said, it doesn't make the reality go away. It's still a difficult situation to be in. You might feel sad, depressed or anxious. You could pity your situation and not want to talk to anyone about it because it feels like a low point for you. It is not a low point. There are alternative options to consider so you should talk to someone about your situation in order to find a solution.

You could feel indifferent and distant. Many people try to distance themselves from the reality and don't want to think about the bad news. They go on living their lives and suppress all these emotions. It is healthier to deal with your emotions otherwise it can grow into deep rooted problems in the future. Find a confidant that you can speak to. Speak to someone who won't judge you and will be able to guide you and your emotions.

Infertility affects many people in different ways. However, there are medical advancements that can help you. There are various fertility treatments available. Visit a fertility clinic to find out what is the cause of the infertility. Once all the tests have been run and the fertility doctor knows what the cause is, a course of treatment can be recommended. You will be given a plan and a schedule. The fertility doctor may recommend possible lifestyle changes in favour of your fertility. You may need to cut out certain bad habits or include specific foods in order to improve your chances. If you want to have a baby then you will need to make the necessary changes in order to improve your fertility.

Remember that finding out about infertility does not have to be the end. There are other options available if you want to have a child.

BioART Fertility Centre offers a unique experience in fertility treatment. We have a long history of state of the ART fertility care delivered with a personal touch. Each and every patient is treated as a unique couple with individual problems and needs. We combine a dignified and compassionate approach with state-of-the-art, advanced reproductive technologies.

Contact Us: +27 11 484 5119

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Is It Always Love at First Sight When You Have a Baby?

Finding out that you're going to have a baby is an exciting feeling especially if you've been trying so hard and for so long. You have a wide array of emotions that fills you with everything from joy to anxiety. These are all natural emotions because your hormones are going to have a field day with your body over the next nine months.

You will feel the baby grow inside you. Each month you will discover something new and encounter a new milestone. The biggest milestone at first is when you feel your baby move for the first time. At first it will feel like little flutters or bubbles in your belly. Then you will feel solid movements in the form of bumps against the wall of your uterus. The baby is moving his or her arms and legs.

You will find out whether you are having a boy or a girl. This will fill you with excitement and you'll have so many ideas as to what the baby room will look like, what the name will be, and what kind of person they will grow up to be. Life is exciting and new. You and your partner are looking forward to the arrival of the baby.

Then the day arrives when the baby is born. The newborn is handed to you. Crying with all their might, the doctor hands him or her to you for a quick peak before they clean them up. You're not sure what to feel. Many women do feel love at first sight and are overjoyed with seeing their little one. But there are many other women who don't get this feeling at first sight and that's okay. They see their little one for the first time and, for some odd reason, they are underwhelmed. After the long wait and the fertility treatments, you thought you'd feel differently. After the baby is cleaned and dressed, the nurses bring him or her to you. You may feel a wild rush of emotions and you just want to cuddle and hold this little human that came out of you. If you don't feel this, don't worry about it. Not every woman feels that love at first sight emotion. You know there is a connection but it's not of undying love.

Over the next few days, the love will grow. And if you are breastfeeding, this emotion will grow stronger because of the amount hormones flowing through your body. An unconditional love for your little one will grow. It will be so strong that nothing can break it.

BioART Fertility Centre offers a unique experience in fertility treatment. We have a long history of state of the ART fertility care delivered with a personal touch. Each and every patient is treated as a unique couple with individual problems and needs. We combine a dignified and compassionate approach with state-of-the-art, advanced reproductive technologies.

Contact Us: +27 11 484 5119

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Interpreting Our World

When other adults came for me after school, my teacher would tell them how nasty I was, how undeserving, how worthless. The other adults listened to the teacher and accepted her words, thus confirming her version in my child's mind.

Every word, every act, every gesture I experienced at the time convinced me day after day that I deserved being abused.

Then my classmates learned that I was to be abused, that they should push me or ignore me, hurt me any way they wanted. Their role model, our teacher, was showing them how it was done.

Their actions confirmed what I was already starting to believe. I deserved nothing, no love, no friendship, no respect. I was nothing. I was less than nothing. I was a target.

By the time my parents realized what was going on, I had already become a victim. I subconsciously believed that I deserved what I got, that I deserved no better. I wasn't even aware of the belief. Neither were my parents. They only understood that the teacher had been nasty to me. So they transferred me to another school.

My first day at the new school was a nightmare. I was so scared to encounter my new enemies and abusers and so utterly convinced that I deserved them that I tried to shrink into my own body. Reality was to prove me a victim again, of course. My new teacher didn't insult me or harass me but chose to ridicule me and sat me at her table for everyone to clearly see how undeserving I was. She took my My new classmates immediately understood how unimportant I was. And then there was Phil, my new abuser, the kid in my class that took it upon himself to chase me down and make fun of me so the other children would look up at him. He would find the ugliest ways to hurt me while laughing at me and making others find the fun in it.

My parents tried to get help. But nobody understood why I was being abused by different people in different places. That only seemed to prove that I was somehow causing the situation, being the only common denominator in all scenes.

So my first teacher was right, wasn't she? Life proved her right. I deserved nothing. I was only worth the fun I made others have by mocking and hurting me. I truly was and deserved to be a victim.

School after school abusers immediately identified the victim in me and used me as a stepping stone on their way to greater heights. Life confirmed my belief every single day. I was a victim.

A few years later I was a complete mess. I couldn't face school or children. They terrified me. I had truly, completely victimized myself not even being aware that such a possibility existed. Nobody in my world understood that either. There was only doubt and confusion. No professional could explain why there was always somebody ready to abuse me. Some people suspected that I felt abused when no real abuse had been given. But I knew what I knew. Life was abuse; everywhere I looked, everywhere I lived, abuse lived there, too, and had me as its target.

Until one day somebody told me that I was a victim. "Victim" what a word. That person explained to me that I had become a victim by believing that interpretation of myself. We reviewed my life story from that perspective and I fully understood how I had come to interpret and see myself as a victim of others. From that first teacher who held all power to the weakest kid ever insulting me, I BELIEVED I deserved their treatment of me because I WAS A VICTIM! That was my role in life.

Together we went over my life and took examples of the abuse I had suffered. That person helped me see that I had become a victim because that's what I believed myself to be. She also explained that abusers believed that only by stepping on others and using them to raise themselves higher could they be respected and appreciated. Most of them learned that behavior at home and turned it into their own belief. They were not abusing me to make me hurt; they didn't even see me! They were abusing me because they believed it was the only way in which they would grow and be seen by others. I was not a person but a means.

Understanding my life story from this new perspective, I realized how I had come to believe myself a victim. My first teacher had first introduced that worldview into my mind. By holding power over me, I had believed her to be right. By confirming her view, my incipient belief was then strengthened and solidified until there was no other possible interpretation in my mind. Everything I saw from then on was only confirmation of my subconscious belief.

Our beliefs are always confirmed by our reality because they act as its filter. My experience thus confirmed my victim's role in life over and over again. Until that one person helped me see that I was NOT a victim but had chosen to believe I was. She also showed me that I could choose something else for me. I could reinterpret my past from that new perspective and so understand that I had not been abused but had instead victimized myself. Every insult, every punch, every comment had been proof of my victim's role.

That day I decided to change my worldview and interpret my life story from a different perspective. 'I am no more a victim,' I declared. And true to my new belief, the world never again attacked me. Because I was not a victim anymore. By believing myself a NON-VICTIM, reality had to prove me right.

And it has. These last years have given me proof after proof of my non-victim role in life. There still are many people out there who need to step on others to gain respect but they never choose me anymore as their stepping stone. When looking around for somebody to be their victim, they don't see me. Because I am not a victim anymore. I don't come out in their radar. I'm not a victim and I am nos perceived as one by them.

This is the story I wanted to tell you and the way in which I interpreted it. After all, life is a matter of interpretation. What story I tell myself will end up becoming my story. All stories can be told from many different perspectives. After all, narrators choose how to tell them, don't they?

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

Discover humanology, optimism coaching, personal essence and much more http://www.jessicajlockhart.com/en

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The "I" & the "ME" - A Psycho-Therapeutic Perspective

Introduction:

The "ME"

In order to understand the model of the "I & ME" we must first decide the meaning of each element and how it affects the other. The "ME" can be seen as your social self - that part of your personality that is made up of trait behaviours such as being - good or bad - kind or unkind etc. Traits are ways of describing someone to another in order to communicate a shared understanding of that person. If I was to ask your five best friends - who are you? They would most likely describe you as a series of trait words, he / she is kind, thoughtful, active and generous. This then gives a shared view of the persons social self (ME). The "ME" then becomes the shared view of the persons character and what behaviour to expect from them if you should interact with them. It also bears witness from friends how they see that person behaving in numerous situations - therefore has a predictive value to knowing what to expect (expectations) in situations confronting that person. Attribution is the idea that we assign values to others based on very little information or insight - therefore the accuracy of the social self (ME) is subject to attribution-error in the sense of how well do people really know us?

However the concept of mirroring can occur in the client / patient in the sense that if enough friends describe you a certain way then you start to believe this is in fact who you are. In this case many people try to live up to and imitate the social self as others have seen them - in other words the "ME" become who you think you are and who you would want to be. A reflection (mirroring) of others opinion of you is also how they react and treat you on a daily basis. This can also have the effect of imprisoning the clients personality within defined ranges of how others see us such as family, close friends and colleagues, who can hem us into a person type, that they expect of us and we come to expect of ourselves. It is no accident that people who travel often and meet many strangers have a better idea of their inner self as they are free to express repressed parts of their personality without it effecting the opinion of those who know them on a daily basis. It is here that we can discuss the concept of the "I" over the "ME" in the model.

The "I"

The "I" is best described as our secret self - that part of us that only we know about - that keeps our secrets from the past - whether traumatic, shameful or biographical - the "I" is the unconscious influencer that informs the "ME" silently but often effectively in its decision making. How then is the "I" created from the past? In order to understand this some examples are the best illustration.

Case 1:

The boy was eight years old - at that moment he stands with his younger sister being surrounded by five older boys who are intent on bullying him - in order to survive this eight year olds mind makes a decision to cry. The strategy being that if he cries the boys will leave them alone. However at the moment of tears his sister, looking assertive towards the bullies, turns to him and asks him why he is crying like a baby? The boy immediately feels shame, embarrassment and fear. Shame that his sister thinks he is a coward, embarrassment in that the boys are laughing at his show of fear and further he fears that his strategy has backfired and more bullying is going to happen. As the boy grows up to be a teenager the one moment of trauma stays with him although the actual incident is long forgotten to memory. However his "I" has retained the idea of being a coward - he cannot shake the feeling when his "ME" is confronted with situations that require him to be brave he has an unspeakable fear response, he becomes aware he may be judged (just as his sister had done) and so with great pain he tries to as an adult to do what is expected of him from the social self ("ME") and react accordingly even though he feels just as he did at eight years old. In later life he constantly now challenges himself to do brave things such as mountain climbing, army service, potholing, martial arts training and more. All these things to constantly challenge his "I" - his true self - the boy who was seen as a coward by his sister. It can be said that bravery often comes from cowardliness for without fear how can you face a world of tough choices? Bravery without fear is just idiotic foolishness of the types who think they are indestructible we give them medals when they are dead!

Case 2:

The girl was young and innocent of the world. Coveted by nurturing parents, she lived a peaceful quiet life at home. Her mother's brother, a teenager comes to stay and he is given the bed alongside hers every Friday to Sunday while he attends weekend community service for theft. At first she is excited by the company and talks with her young uncle about her school and friends and listens to his adventures of getting into trouble and going to court where he was sentenced to community service - cleaning pubic toilets over the weekends for several months as an alternative to jail. She is shocked by his wickedness and excited by his stories. His habit soon came to sit on her bed and gradually holding her in a hug with his arm around her shoulder - she did not feel this to be a bad thing - merely her uncle being super nice and kind. He then began lying next to her holding her close - she felt his hands touching her while he was seemingly sleeping! She felt some stirring of excitement and fear at what he was doing but she still felt it was alright. Over time however his touching and now kissing her became more forceful - she did not like these feelings and complained to him but he quietly explained that it was OK and he was teaching her to feel love. One evening and for many others to come he entered her and raped her. At her very young age she only felt pain and fear. For months until the end of the community service he regularly raped and abused her - all the time her confusion and feeling trapped in a confusion of emotions. One day he left and never came back again. After several months she decided to tell he mother what had happened but feared she would be in trouble or that her uncle might be punished too. Her mother's reaction was to not talk such nonsense and that she had made it all up or just dreamed it - how could it have gone on so long without her finding out? The little girls was told to keep it to herself and never ever mention it to her father. The trauma the girl suffered was assigned to her "I" for a secret self that only she would ever know about. As she grew she avoided boys and later men - she became pretty and dressed well, being proud of her demeanor - but even at 30 years old she was technically still a virgin and had no relationships with men. She was attracted to men but could never allow any of them more than a date with mixed company. To her friends and family she was merely the shy girl who could not find a suitable man to marry her. Her "ME" was of the kind, sweet, shy and pretty girl that everyone liked. However her "I" was extremely damaged by her history of abuse. She had long forgotten (repressed) what had happened to her (as per her mothers instructions). When she was approached by nice men who liked her looks and wished to get to know her - she rejected them quickly - she feared being close - being vulnerable - and believed strongly in that she was the Good Girl and did not give in to men's desires - even though she could not articulate exactly why she felt that way. She was often confused by her girl friends way of talking about men and their desires to have sexually relationships or romantic associations.

In each case the trauma to the "I" was either a single moment that defined a life or long term abuse that created a long term injunction of being close to men whom she felt were both attractive and threatening at the same time. In the first case it is easy to see that the biographical memory started a chain reaction of behaviours that led the boy to have to reprove his manhood (bravely) over and over again. In the second case the fear of men is easy to understand from the point of view of the long term abuse and the eventually covering up of the crime by the mother's concern for kinship and family harmony. (Very common is Asiatic countries where face is more important than the damage to one individual). The "I" therefore is the constant unconscious informer of the social self (ME) - when procrastination is present or choices are being made that are contrary to our greater good then there is the hidden "I" waiting to inform our decision sometimes so negatively that it can impact our feeling of well-being such as mood disorders for depression or anxiety leading to eventually being labeled by our friends as weird, not normal - and our social self our "ME" becomes changed by that negativity around us - convincing us eventually that there is something wrong with us - and so we seek the insight of the counsellor, psychologist or in the worse case scenario the psychiatrist.

The "I" & "ME" in therapeutic practice

When the client / patient arrives in the therapists office the first session maybe merely the exchange of stories - the venting of feelings and emotions that have brought the person so seek help or to be rescued from the life that has turned them into that depressed person or that anxious neurotic. Diagnosis is often just a labeling process for insurance purposes but the real work begins with the past. Most "here and now" therapists miss so much of the why's of mood disorders because they believe you cannot change the past so why bother dealing with it - it is the version of throwing the baby out with the bathwater (or the Freud out with the ideas).

Often a one page biography of the family, developing years and the current situation can give the therapist a good over-view of the persons history with the proviso that if they have a particular story they wish to share that could be done as a separate paper. After a review of the biographical information the therapist can dig deeper during analysis for any indication of trauma as a child - whether a single moment or a continued situation that may have occurred. In order to help the client think about and consider their personal experience the "I" & "ME" model can be demonstrated on a whiteboard and explained in terms of the secret self over the social self that is formed by the expectations of others and our purpose for mirroring those traits described. In most cases the clients listening to the explanation are already assessing their biographical memories for instances of what could constitute their secret self ("I"). It is easier to start out with a question after the model is explained, such as if I asked five of your friends who you are - what would the say or describe you as? This then is then is the personal perception of the social self as mirrored by others. (The ME).

Once you establish that they feel this is who they are and their expectations to achieve the "ME" on a daily basis - the therapist can go back to the whiteboard and ask the more difficult question - then who is your "I" - what secrets do you have about yourself that only you know about - that only you feel - that inform who you really are as opposed to what others imagine you to be through the activity of your social self ("ME")?

Many clients initially decline to answer directly the question of the secret self ("I") as they have kept that information closeted in their inner most mind for many years - after all that is what a secret is. It may refer to their sexuality, the idea of their values, morality and many other sensitive areas of their lives. Here the therapist must reinforce the idea of a safe place in therapy where clients can reveal their true thoughts, to be authentic and open about their inner most compulsions without fear of judgment and criticism. There are many subtexts to the "I" such as abuse, paraphelia, repressed desires, shameful acts, self doubt and a wide spectrum of feelings attached to each area of concern. However with time and trust clients can reveal that inner trauma within the secret self and so start to deal with and heal that psychological damage that was done to them so long ago.

Outcomes:

Using this model of the "I" & "ME" for several hundred patients (2. Myler 2002 - 2018) in real practice has shown time and time again of its effectiveness in creating the right environment for change - tackling such issues as social comparison, empathy, trauma and many other social examples of mood disorders over time. Patients and clients find it simple to grasp and understands in a short period of time and so go onto explore their own barriers to contentment in life often barred from the unconscious secret self and the mirrored social self trying to meet the expectations of others confining them to a categorization of personality that goes on to define their actions when new situations of problems meet them. Sometimes keeping it simple can help a client / patient achieve a deep understanding of themselves and the effect of others on their choices in life and personality development. The best outcome would be the client who knows themselves better, understands their internal motivation and even though they cannot change the past they can at least make better informed decisions about why they behave and think in the way that they do.

References:

1. Myler S F (2002) The Development of the "I" & "ME" model (unpublished).

2. Myler S F (2002 - 2018) Private practice notes

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8 Easy Ways to Discover Your Strengths

Many people feel they do not have any strengths. It may be because whatever you are good at, comes to you so naturally and easily that you might not think it is a strength. It may be something very normal to you; but in comparison to others it may be a great strength. At the same time, there may be hidden undeveloped strengths like an unpolished diamond, which does have a great value; but is not visible due to lack of opportunity. Once you recognize this aspect, you can always create suitable opportunities to utilize your strength!

Your strengths are the foundations of your success. Doing the things you are good at, adds to your confidence and brings in extraordinary results. While it is assumed that everybody is aware of one's strengths, it is not always so. You may be having blind spots and therefore need to discover your strengths.

While there are experts to help you in this journey into unknown, there are some DIY tips that you can use to recognize your strengths. Sounds interesting? Read on:

1. Notice where you stand out from a crowd.Do you recall taking certain initiatives whenever you are in a group? It could be taking lead in planning or just taking up the role of an informal leader. Reason is simple. It happens when one loves to do a certain thing... or in other words using / displaying one's strengths. Look back, you will be able to recall such situations. Conclusion - whenever you acted different from the crowd, it was your strength.


2. Look for your moments of excitement. Engaging in an activity you are really good at, shows up excitement all over. Your face becomes radiant, your body language reveals the charge, your speech exudes confidence... and you can feel it all over. Normally, it should be quite apparent to you; but if you find it tricky, take the help of a close friend/mentor/guide to keep an eye on you and share his/her observations.


3. Record and study your past achievements. List down your past achievements howsoever small these may be. You will be amazed to see the unexpectedly long list. Then, identify a common pattern of specific activities in those events. These particular activities are sure shot expressions of your strengths.


4. Notice the compliments. Whenever somebody compliments you (and you know it was an honest compliment), don't bury it with just a humble acknowledgement. Make a note of it and look deeper to identify the positive side. You will find that the compliment is a real indication of your strength.


5. Observe your cravings. Your inner yearnings act like a magnet and pull you towards your strengths. So, if you find yourself craving repeatedly to do something and you enjoy it, it is a clue that therein may lie your strength.


6. Watch your learning speed.Certain skills you may find tough to learn and it may take quite some time in spite of your working hard on them. Similarly, some others you pick up rather quickly - a definite clue that these are your strengths.


7. Spot the activities making you lose track of time. How many times it happened that you got engrossed so much in an activity that you were not conscious of how much time passed away. Certainly an activity which can keep you engaged to such an extent is an indication of your strength.


8. Feedback analysis. Management guru Peter Drucker renews this technique propounded by a German theologian in the 14th century. The technique suggests that whenever you take a key decision or action, write down what results do you expect. Later (after a few days, weeks or months), compare the actual results with your own expectations. The analysis will reveal your strengths as well as weaknesses.

Armed with so many ways to unearth your strengths, it is time to move ahead and deploy them in practice so as to enjoy your work, give superior performance and climb to the ladder of success.

Get your free mini e-course "Goal Setting & Beyond - Six Steps to Success" when you subscribe to our free e-zine "Redefining Horizons". It brings to you quality tips on Self-Improvement and expert inputs on Leadership Development every alternate week.

This invitation comes to you from the author Ashok Grover, Founder CEO of Ashok Grover Consulting ( http://www.AshokGroverConsulting.com ). Ashok is an expert in people assessment and focused executive / leadership coaching. He is also Director at Skillscape ( http://www.skillscape.net ), a company with a vision of Value Creation by enhancing people and organizational competencies.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Ashok_Grover/258497

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5 Risk Factors for Missed Colon Cancer or Polyps During Your Colonoscopy

The first and possibly the most important is an adequate bowel preparation

The ability to see pre-cancer polyps and colon tumors is dependent on you having colon clear of residual stool. This is dependent on you completing the bowel preparation as prescribed as well as drinking lots of supplemental fluid during the prep. All preps require you to fast from solids for a full day before your exam and only drink clear fluids. If you have had a prior poor prep or have tendency to be constipated, take medications or have conditions that slow the movement of your bowels then you may be asked to stop eating solids two days before your exam.

You will be asked to take one of several bowel preparations as directed by your provider. It has been proven that split dosing (dividing the preparation medications into two separate timed doses, typically the evening before very early on the day of the exam) achieves the highest success rate in adequate clearing of the colon. It cannot be over emphasized that no matter what prep you use; all of them are work the best when you drink lots of clear liquids.

Despite being given very detailed bowel preparation instructions some individuals fail to follow these instructions especially drinking plenty of fluids. Some just fail to drink adequate fluids during the prep or fail to avoid eating the day before or start too late to have adequate time to clear out all the stool and fluid. The patients in whom inadequate bowel prep is noted must be rescheduled for a repeat exam. You don't want to go through the bowel preparation half-heartedly only to have to have to be canceled or have an incomplete or inadequate colonoscopy that requires a repeat exam.

Non-gastroenterologist preforming exam increases risk of missed lesion

Multiple studies have confirmed that the risk of missed polyps and colon cancers is much higher when a physician other than a gastroenterologist performs the colonoscopy exam. The risk of missed polyps has been reported as high as 50% when colonoscopy is performed by a non-gastroenterologist. If possible you should insist that either a gastroenterologist performs your colonoscopy or a colorectal surgeon who routinely performs many exams a year. Most gastroenterologists perform over a 1000 colonoscopies a year.

Incomplete exam during your first colonoscopy risks missed lesions

Failure to reach the end of the colon is known risk for missed colon polyps and colon cancer. Inexperienced endoscopists and non-gastroenterologists may fail to reach the cecum but not be aware. Photo documentation of the anatomical landmarks of the cecum are increasingly used by endoscopists to document the extent of the exam was complete. If it is not clear from your report that exam was complete you should as

Women and older age

Several studies have shown that the female gender and older age are independent risk factors for missed polyps and interval colon cancers. If you are a woman or an older individual you should be aware of these risks and not be dissuaded from insisting that you had adequate bowel prep, complete and careful withdrawal examination. Some women have more difficult examinations technically than men and older patients may also have significant diverticular disease making the examination more difficult so an experienced endoscopist is important. Also older patients commonly have multiple other medical problems that may influence the endoscopist to try to complete the exam quickly to avoid intra-procedure complications including sedation issues.

Inexperienced endoscopists or those with poor technique or too rapid exam

More experienced endoscopists miss less lesions than trainees and less experienced endoscopists even when time of withdrawal is equal. The accepted standard for withdrawal time is now six minutes or more. Almost all exams report withdrawal time and many endoscopists have known withdrawal time averages correlated with their polyp detection rate. Subpar withdrawal times and polyp detection rates would be an indicator that an endoscopist's technique is below that generally accepted within peers. Poor endoscopy technique is related to training of the endoscopist as well as number of procedures performed in the past. As the number of procedures increase the skill of the endoscopist almost always improves

The Food Doc is Dr. Scot M. Lewey, a gastroenterologist (digestive disease specialist), who writes informative articles on a variety of food and digestion related health issues. He is a practicing physician who is also a Clinical Professor of Medicine at two medical schools. Dr. Lewey is an expert in Celiac Sprue, non-celiac gluten sensitivity, Colitis and Crohn's disease, food allergy and intolerance, mastocytic enterocolitis, irritable bowel syndrome (IBD), eosinophilic esophagitis and acid reflux. He published numerous articles and conducts clinical research.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr._Scot_Lewey/3

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All Living Creatures Are Miracles Of Nature

Once you look all around you, you realize that all living creatures are miracles of nature. Our world is full of real wonders which make it incredible if you are willing to view it that way. However, sadly enough, most people's outlook on life is to take everything around them for granted or with despair.

What is your frame of mind? How do you live your life? Do you see it as a beautiful opera? Or do you just pay attention to the pain?

Merely being alive is already insane. The odds are so stacked against you, and yet we often forget that simple but fantastic fact. Mother Nature and all living creatures on it are indeed miracles of life. But you have to look at it that way because you will get what you focus on at the end of the day.

So, there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. You should appreciate how lucky you are to be alive. And give thanks for your ability to be able to witness all of the beauty that the nature of our planet provides.

Earth is our Home
It is only a question of where you put your attention. And it does not matter if you focus on the bad things or the good ones, they all become real. Your thoughts and attention quickly overwhelm you. So, you have to shift away from seeing the pain in the opera of life. And instead, see the wonder in it all.

Your task is to free yourself from that masque by widening your circle of compassion and wonder. You must embrace all living creatures and look at the splendor in the miracles of nature. Realize that every grain of sand is made of unexpected beauty when you look closely enough. And every snowflake which falls from the sky to coat the Earth is unique.

As a result, you then understand that life is a game of attention. But let's take a look at some of the absolute miracles that are carried by nature and all living creatures living in it. Earth is our home. It gives life and supplies all things in abundance, as well as maintaining the world we live in. Yet, most humans abuse these marvels.

The Source of All Living Creatures
So, we should take good care of our planet and the species existing on it. Physical life and survival of all living creatures, as well as nature, are the source to preserve. Since the earth is our resource, I believe we have to pay more attention to the wonders of life. We have to follow the wisdom of nature.

Since centuries, nature delivers natural medicines which are still available today. We, humans, are still learning things beyond the realm of belief. You can even be healing yourself with the power of your mind. Who does not know about the Placebo effect? You and I cannot often understand the vast resources of this natural energy which lives in every living being.

"There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Nature and its Hidden Miracles
As nature is so beautiful, you must learn to enjoy and appreciate its miracles. And yes, it is a resource we must exploit some of it to supply our needs but only to some degree. Let's remember that it gives us life and a home, so it is time to end the abuse. They are yet hidden treasures to be discovered.

The photo below shows how grains of sand look like under a microscope, reflecting the biology and geology where they are found. Did you ever notice this? Now, just imagine how many miracles are contained on an entire beach. You might suddenly look at all things around you with a different eye.

When it snows, billions and billions of snowflakes are falling, yet not two snowflakes are precisely the same. Unbelievably, they all have six sides, similar to your fingerprint. Even by the miraculous standards of the natural world, it is an accomplishment almost beyond imagining. So, nature and all living creatures in it are miracles of life.

Respect for All Living Creatures
Despite the extraordinary competition, there is one simple creature that should be the most remarkable of all: you. Humans have genuinely impressive skills, and yet, they are so careless about the miracles of nature. Often, they have no respect for the living beings which are around them.

And you are only a part of a whole, called the Universe. Human beings are a grain in time and space. However, you have experiences, thoughts, and feelings, but it should not be a kind of prison, restricting you to your desires and affection for some people close to you.

But you are more sophisticated, more intelligent, and more marvelous than any human-made invention. We take such things for granted. Still, we could learn so much from nature or the unconditional love of the living creatures around us.

All Living Creatures are Miracles
Let's take a recent study which shows a small bird known as Anna's hummingbird that can dive through the air at speeds of around 50 miles or 80 kilometers per hour. So what? Well, this bird is only five inches long (12 centimeters).

So, it means that if you scale it up to the size of an average car, the bird is going at 1,300 miles or 2,092 kilometers per hour. It is almost twice the speed of sound. The Space Shuttle at its fastest reaches 207 body lengths per second; but when it is diving, Anna's hummingbird tops it by 383 body lengths per second.

All in all, this little fellow must rank as one of the most incredible living creatures on the planet. But, in fact, there are many more miracles of the animal kingdom whose physical capabilities are just beyond belief. Some, indeed, defy the laws of physics, and therefore of nature itself.

Miracles of Nature Everywhere
You can see these kinds of miracles of nature in even the most simple creatures. In the very deepest of our oceans, there are compelling pressures. It is enough to crush every bone and organ in your body, yet there live all types of creatures.

Then, at the other end, high above the Himalayan Mountains, you encounter migrating birds. It is the bar-headed geese, happily flying at almost the same height as a jumbo jet. Animals are way smarter than we give them credit for, and so, all living creatures are miracles of nature.

And you might think it is impossible for a baby bird that has done nothing in its brief life but sits in a nest and eats caterpillars to take flight. After its parents leave him, he flies from, let's say, England to southern Africa. And so, makes it over the Channel and the Strait of Gibraltar; over the Sahara.

All Things are Wonders
It is also unique when you look up, see and feel so many raindrops falling from the sky. Yet, Earth is not the only planet that experiences rain. Venus' showers sulfuric acid. And scientists now suspect that on Jupiter, it rains diamonds.

So, only a life lived in respecting all living creatures as miracles, is worth living. We, as intelligent species, should appreciate Mother Nature far more than we do currently. So, all things in our world stand as amazing wonders. Choose very wisely how to see your life and what is around you because it literally becomes a summary of what you focus on.

Sergei VanBellinghen, Personal Growth & Success Expert, Founder of First-Class Lifestyle & SergeiVanBellinghen.com I help and teach people how to get a fresh start and have a brand-new style of living after a divorce, loss or if single. I do this by using self-development techniques to help you grow, succeed and have a better life. Remember, it's not just about growing but also about ending the routine. It's about the lifestyle of working less, living more and enjoying life! Find Out How! Visit my Website http://sergeivanbellinghen.com and come to discover how I can afford to stay home and travel anywhere I want.

Article Source:https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Sergei_VanBelling

4 Steps to Turn Your Sensitivity Into Your Superpower

Have you ever been told you're too sensitive? Or, to grow a thicker skin? Do you have a habit of taking on other people's pain? Do you consistently put others' needs before your own? Do you struggle with your sensitivity, at any time, in any way?

If you're like me, you might be an empath, a highly-sensitive person, or maybe someone with an extra dose of sensitivity. There's a spectrum, and if you find that you have heightened sensitivity, you likely fall somewhere within the spectrum of empaths.

Although, as sensitive souls, we know how painful it can be, it's important to know that sensitivity is actually a source of inner power. What's tricky, is knowing how to manage sensitivity -- so that rather than disempowering us, it empowers us instead.

There's no question in my mind that sensitive people must be vigilant about self-care. Daily self-care is not an option if you want to thrive as a sensitive person. And, fortunately, with the right methods and tools, it's possible to turn your sensitivity into your superpower!

What do I mean by turning your sensitivity into your superpower? I mean nurturing your inner gifts, such as: intuition, inner vision, deep knowing, psychic ability, love, compassion, healing energy, creativity, artistic vision, and so many more -- and letting them shine.

Our creative abilities come from our senses, and we help them flourish by creating a nurturing inner environment.

Here are 4 Steps to Turn Your Sensitivity into Your Superpower:STEP 1: EMBRACE

This is where you start. Tune your awareness to what lies within you. How does sensitivity show up for you?o

 How does it assist you? How does it hinder you? Embrace everything that shows up with love, and acceptance. Let go of judgement.

Write a list of all things you love about your sensitivity. Write a list of all that is painful. Practice embracing yourself with love, when you notice either the pleasurable, or painful aspects of your sensitivity.

For one of my clients, when she learned how to embrace her sensitivity, without making it wrong, she was able to harness it in her work as an artist. Now she infuses her sensitive gifts into her creative projects, and her work has blossomed.

STEP 2: CLEAR

This step creates space for the magical part of your sensitivity to assist you in ways you could never imagine. Freeing ourselves from judgement, other people's opinions, other people's feelings, and all the old emotions we've stuffed down, is the key to allowing our sensitivity to shine.

Sensitive people are prone to experiencing intense bouts of self-doubt, anxiety, fear, sadness, and overwhelm. In addition, because we are sensitive, we're sometimes more likely to accept beliefs that aren't even ours. When these emotions and beliefs get stuck in our system, they contribute to persistent limiting patterns.

Clearing out old stuck emotions, and releasing limiting beliefs and patterns is crucial for our sensitivity to truly thrive. Clearing techniques include: meditation, deep breathing, yoga, EFT tapping, matrix reimprinting, heart breath, and various talk and/or touch therapies.

Experiment with what works for you. Many times, if not most, it's helpful to enlist professional help when dealing with old persistent patterns and stuck emotions.

And, remember, self-love is the healing elixir for clearing any, and all, old negativity.

STEP 3: RECHARGE 

Cell phones, with all of their amazing apps, only work when they're charged. Think of your superpower, or your inner power, as a battery that needs recharging on a regular basis. When we don't recharge, we lose power. Recharging is essential.

Recharging for sensitive people often means a daily self-care ritual, perhaps combined with services such as massage, sauna, salt therapy, and energy therapies.

It also means creating healthy routines to allow for alone-time, creative expression, sleep, and time in nature.

And perhaps the most important aspect of recharging, is the presence of healthy boundaries. Without them, overload and burn-out are almost guaranteed. Boundaries can be firm, hard, loose, stretchy, soft, or any way you want them. How ever you decide to create them, remember that boundaries are essential to protect yourself from unwanted energy, people, ideas, and anything else that's not a match for your system.

STEP 4: ACTIVATE

Once you've become clear on the different aspects of your sensitivity, you've begun to clear out old, stuck energy, and you're regularly recharging your inner power, you're ready to active your gifts. As with anything, this is a process. The more you repeat the steps in the process, the easier, and more powerful it will become.

Decide now, which of your sensitive inner gifts will you expand? Which of your natural sensitivities will help you enrich your work life? Your relationships? Your Health? Your Spiritual Life? Your creative life? How will you shine your gifts, and with whom?

When you begin to see the picture of how sensitivity can flow through your life, activate one aspect of your sensitivity. For example if you have a lot of compassion, you might choose to volunteer as a way to share your compassion. Or, if you have a gift for sensing subtle energy, you could expand your knowledge of energy therapies. The possibilities are endless. The goal here is to expand what you already possess, in the way that enriches your life. This is what turns your sensitivity into your superpower.

Throughout the process of activating your inner gifts, it's important to recycle through the first 3 steps. Embrace, Clear, Recharge. A continual act of self-love will help you continually activate your brilliance.

You deserve your own magnificence!

Here's to Bold Sensitivity!

Marian

Hello. I'm Marian Buck-Murray, and I specialize in helping sensitive, heart-centered creatives boost courage, confidence, and self-love. I'm a Certified EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner. For a free 30-Minute consultation, in which I will help you create a plan to turn your sensitivity into your superpower, contact me at marian@marianbuckmurray.com. Visit my website at http://marianbuckmurray.com/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Marian_Buck_Murr

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G

STEP 1: EMBRACE

This is where you start. Tune your awareness to what lies within you. How does sensitivity show up for you? How does it assist you? How does it hinder you? Embrace everything that shows up with love, and acceptance. Let go of judgement.

Write a list of all things you love about your sensitivity. Write a list of all that is painful. Practice embracing yourself with love, when you notice either the pleasurable, or painful aspects of your sensitivity.

For one of my clients, when she learned how to embrace her sensitivity, without making it wrong, she was able to harness it in her work as an artist. Now she infuses her sensitive gifts into her creative projects, and her work has blossomed.

STEP 2: CLEAR

This step creates space for the magical part of your sensitivity to assist you in ways you could never imagine. Freeing ourselves from judgement, other people's opinions, other people's feelings, and all the old emotions we've stuffed down, is the key to allowing our sensitivity to shine.

Sensitive people are prone to experiencing intense bouts of self-doubt, anxiety, fear, sadness, and overwhelm. In addition, because we are sensitive, we're sometimes more likely to accept beliefs that aren't even ours. When these emotions and beliefs get stuck in our system, they contribute to persistent limiting patterns.

Clearing out old stuck emotions, and releasing limiting beliefs and patterns is crucial for our sensitivity to truly thrive. Clearing techniques include: meditation, deep breathing, yoga, EFT tapping, matrix reimprinting, heart breath, and various talk and/or touch therapies.

Experiment with what works for you. Many times, if not most, it's helpful to enlist professional help when dealing with old persistent patterns and stuck emotions.

And, remember, self-love is the healing elixir for clearing any, and all, old negativity.

STEP 3: RECHARGE 

Cell phones, with all of their amazing apps, only work when they're charged. Think of your superpower, or your inner power, as a battery that needs recharging on a regular basis. When we don't recharge, we lose power. Recharging is essential.

Recharging for sensitive people often means a daily self-care ritual, perhaps combined with services such as massage, sauna, salt therapy, and energy therapies.

It also means creating healthy routines to allow for alone-time, creative expression, sleep, and time in nature.

And perhaps the most important aspect of recharging, is the presence of healthy boundaries. Without them, overload and burn-out are almost guaranteed. Boundaries can be firm, hard, loose, stretchy, soft, or any way you want them. How ever you decide to create them, remember that boundaries are essential to protect yourself from unwanted energy, people, ideas, and anything else that's not a match for your system.

STEP 4: ACTIVATE

Once you've become clear on the different aspects of your sensitivity, you've begun to clear out old, stuck energy, and you're regularly recharging your inner power, you're ready to active your gifts. As with anything, this is a process. The more you repeat the steps in the process, the easier, and more powerful it will become.

Decide now, which of your sensitive inner gifts will you expand? Which of your natural sensitivities will help you enrich your work life? Your relationships? Your Health? Your Spiritual Life? Your creative life? How will you shine your gifts, and with whom?

When you begin to see the picture of how sensitivity can flow through your life, activate one aspect of your sensitivity. For example if you have a lot of compassion, you might choose to volunteer as a way to share your compassion. Or, if you have a gift for sensing subtle energy, you could expand your knowledge of energy therapies. The possibilities are endless. The goal here is to expand what you already possess, in the way that enriches your life. This is what turns your sensitivity into your superpower.

Throughout the process of activating your inner gifts, it's important to recycle through the first 3 steps. Embrace, Clear, Recharge. A continual act of self-love will help you continually activate your brilliance.

You deserve your own magnificence!

Here's to Bold Sensitivity!

Marian

Hello. I'm Marian Buck-Murray, and I specialize in helping sensitive, heart-centered creatives boost courage, confidence, and self-love. I'm a Certified EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner. For a free 30-Minute consultation, in which I will help you create a plan to turn your sensitivity into your superpower, contact me at marian@marianbuckmurray.com. Visit my website at http://marianbuckmurray.com/